As I was reading few certain blogs from The Marsian Chronicles. I have come to realize how foolish and stubborn I was in the eyes of God, and how much I miss the ministry and perceiving it made me sick. I was in the pit for so long and staying there made me a vicious offender in the eyes of God and the world. I had a great fall and falling deep was the dummies comprise I ever made.
Some might have known the recent me but hasn’t had a glimpse of the real me; by faith and my calling. I used to work in a Christian navigation ministry and a preaching ministry. It was my calling and the calling that I still feared in congesting with; to work for God requires not only your best but the best of your best. I was so busy scrutinizing my capabilities and as far as my logical mind is concern I still haven’t distinguish my very on ability. It was late when I have notice that fear corrode the relationship I had with Him. I let myself be victimize with the deception of this world. I fought so hard and struggle for fame, drowning myself in a lair where God didn’t exist.
I start questioning life and love, its existence. I search for it in various forms whether by words or emotions. I failed to notice that the answer to my question lies in that cross. The cross that gives forth life and the cross that brings forth love.
Who am I really? The truth is I’m not of this world but in His world. I am a prisoner and a servant of God. I exist only for Him and Him alone. It is with this intent that I wanted to be born again, not being me but being the man He ought me to be.
I don’t care if you’ll throw stone or burn me to stakes. It’s your choice and I respect that. Curse me if you want, it’s my fault anyways for confining myself in this world.
I know now what I wanted; and that is to stand before God and preaching His name.
No comments:
Post a Comment